so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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