I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
