I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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