Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
