Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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