Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
