Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
