After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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