There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
