you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
