I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
