Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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