Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
