I think scott just propositioned me for sex
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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