Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
