So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize