hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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