dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was born a porn star she said
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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