i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
