I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
