its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
