Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
