yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dignity is for republicans.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
