I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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