You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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