and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize