There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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