Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
