Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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