Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
