You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dicks are not precious.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
