theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
