the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
