"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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