There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
