I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
