fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
