it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
