I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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