That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My pussy is not your playground.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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