I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
