Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
