Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm determined to sit on that face.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize