I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize