JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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