Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Someone shattered a urinal.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
