That's intense
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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