What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
