youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
