the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
