Having a random hookup so left but love u
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
