every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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