the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
