Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
