Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
