he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
