fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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