I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
