loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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