did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Bring me that man meat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
